My previous entries reflect a very personal version of what I decided to deal with first in order to advance in my journey, thankfully I was able to take a huge leap that would get me going with a lot more confidence towards future challenges. As I sit here writing yet another entry of what have arguably been some of the most life-changing events I've experienced, I can't help but smile and think about everything that had to come together in such a short amount of time for me to radically gain a new perspective of our reality.
In this entry I'd like to cautiously dive into what post-modern society considers success. Marcus Aurelius wrote: "Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking." And yes, I am going to talk about the relationship that we attribute to "success" and happiness. If you ask an engineering student, a medical student or any individual that is working hard to reach a goal, they will most likely tell you that they are not happy, but they've built the expectation that when they reach their goal they will obtain true happiness, or at least be one step closer to it. Many people think this way, and this thought process can mainly go two ways:
1. The individual reaches that goal, and feels pride and satisfaction, perhaps even a sense of liberty. They soon realize, that reaching that goal will not give them "True happiness" (Assuming that is even possible), this is simply because our minds are built in a way that it always wants to move to the next objective, and once this objective is met, we feel stuck, and unfulfilled, even after obtaining all you ever thought you wanted.
2. The individual gives up or is placed in a circumstance where they can no longer reach that goal. They will feel regret, desperation, frustration and amotivation. The individual will feel like the universe has conspired against his well-being, he didn't ask for much, and he wasn't even given that. This might take the person years to recover, or even end up being that angry neighbor who just won't let you listen to your favorite song at a totally reasonable volume!
So, how do we prevent this? Well, this ideology is built upon the thought that he who fights and works for what they want, will surely get to where they want to be, and better yet, they will be "Truly happy". As you can deduce, it is based on pure expectations. We work hard, and we expect that work to be rewarded. When this doesn't happen, it feels unfair. Not because universally speaking it is unfair, but because the individual created an expectation that if they tried their best, there was no chance of failure.
In no way am I trying to discredit important values like ambition and hope, and I don't want to say that hard work never pays off, but I do want to say that if you live your life expecting the world to give you what you think you need because you worked hard for it, you will most likely live a miserable life. Not because life will mostly give you less than what you deserve, but because our brains are also designed to emphasize negative things above positive ones. (Gotta thank evolution for that one) So even if you hypothetically break even with the universe, you will still feel like you had a bad time.
It has become increasingly difficult for younger generations to cope with the feeling of "Underachieving", everywhere in media we are bombarded with stories of success, of "endless opportunities" and motivational "Life coaches" telling us that we are not putting the effort to live a life of "success". Social media plays a big role in the lives of many people now, and our minds are constantly blasted with pictures of 20 year-old millionaires or even acquaintances taking an amazing trip to Europe. For many teenage social media users, living a rich and extravagant lifestyle is the only way they imagine living their adulthood.
Naturally, being exposed so regularly to people that are "living their best life" generates unhealthy expectations. It makes mansions and "Lambo's" seem so common and reachable, and many people know this and have exploited these people's lack of understanding of the real world for personal gain, pyramid schemes are hotter than ever! People can't seem to get enough of those seminars telling them that they guarantee they will be rich, and be rich fast.
The truth is, that wealth is a valuable asset, some of us will have more money than we need, and most of us won't. If you want to increase your chances of being wealthy, there is no doubt that hard work will be required. I see no problem in using most of your energy to accomplish a goal, but know that not everything is under our control, so we must accept that we won't always get what we want just because we think we deserve it.
Anyways, let's separate happiness from success and wealth. Some of you might roll your eyes after reading the next sentence, but I am a firm believer that "The Real Treasure Was the Friends We Made Along the Way." In other words, we shouldn't be chasing or searching for our happiness as something that we will eventually obtain in our future. If you look around you, you will find many things that make you happy, your pet, your parents, your siblings, your friends, that TV show that you can't wait for the next season to come out, you will find happiness all around you. You don't need to feel miserable just because you're not where you want to be, you can be happy where you stand right now and on the way there. Happiness is not absolute, it is a feeling just like any other, don't hide from feeling happy just because you don't think you deserve it yet. Do not let anybody take away your happiness, because out of all the matter in this seemingly infinite universe, you were given such a tiny yet beautiful consciousness that is completely yours! So do with it what makes you happy, and while you're at it, do your best to make those around you happy as well.
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